Why are there so many songs about rainbows,

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, But only illusions,

And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it

I know they're wrong; wait and see

Some day we'll find it

The rainbow connection;

It's so ironic that in the mids of happiness, there's always the imprints of sorrows. Why..why are imprints of sorrows and disappointment all over me. Devouring me. Sometimes, I juz wonder if putting a knife on a perfectly scarless wrist of mine will end everything. May it be those wonderful memories or the sorrows, an end to life may solve everything. I realise. It's just the failure's way of escaping, escaping from the torments being set ahead. I hate to admit, I did nearly fall into the pit of darkness and failure when I habour the thoughts of ending a life. Tempted. Yes. Indeed.

Sometimes in the mids of being angry, you tend to throw things to relief your anger. But you realise, in the end, the one who have to pick up everything is no one but you. Finding yourself silly then ask again, why do you repeat that step when u feel agitated again though you know that the person who lose will in the end be no one but you?

Pple who know me or rather tokk to me on msn or sms me will noe that my sms r full of smileys. But sometimes I ask myself, am I really happy, or just to create an illusion to others that I am. I need to relief my stress, sorrows and disappointment. Everything, one by one is reaching out to me so fast that I can hardly breathe. Sometimes I wonder, who can I tok to. Everyone will probably run off if I do pick up this topic. Who will from the bottom of the heart really wans to know about how are you feelin this moment besides yourself. mebe things will turn sour when this is bein done repeatedly.

She say how's she gonna trust me when she always see me in msn and not doin my work. And I say so when did you ever trust me before. she's caught dumfounded. She did rebuked seconds later sayin she did trust me before. tell me. When ever did she take a break from peepin into my room? When? She call this trust? My my.. I DO see a diff.

Closing my eyes..